Greeting Customs – How do you greet people where you’re from?
I’m fascinated by the differences in how people greet each other in different countries. What can be a show of affection among friends in one country, can signal an amorous advance in another.
Monique from France (of Mama Lisa’s World en français) came to visit me and my family earlier this month. While my husband and I waited for her to arrive at the airport, I remembered my days living in France. There, when people first see each other they faire la bise, which means “do the kiss”. The most common way to faire la bise is one kiss on each cheek. I clued my husband in on this custom. He was surprised and said, “Well, at least she’s a woman!”
When first meeting someone here in the US, at least in New York, most people will shake hands. Some women don’t follow this custom, but most younger women do. Most people in the business world shake hands when meeting a business associate – whether for the first time, or even if they’ve met before. But if two people work in the same office, they generally wouldn’t shake hands every day.
If you’re greeting a person you know, like a friend who you’ve seen recently, you’d probably just say hi. If it’s a family member, you might kiss them once on the cheek. If it’s a friend or family member who you haven’t seen for a while (or might not see again for a while) you might give them a kiss and an upper body hug. This would generally be between either two women, or a man and a woman, or sometimes two men who are related to each other (like a father and son).
I asked Monique for a clarification of the greeting customs in France. Here’s what she said…
The custom at a formal business meeting is shaking hands. (We wouldn’t kiss our boss.)
With friends and family, we’d usually give 2 kisses. In some places it’s 3 kisses, in other places, like Paris, it’s 4 kisses. But I couldn’t find a map of France with different colors to show how many kisses they give in each town!
We call it faire la bise even if there are several kisses. Une bise means a smack on the cheek. Un baiser means a kiss that refers more to a lovers’ kiss. (Take care: as a verb, it means something way more than a kiss!)
One kiss in France usually means a very close relationship, usually romantically involved.
We kiss, or faire la bise, “all the time”. That is, every day, if we meet every day. But only once a day.
This is between two women or a man and woman. Men usually shake hands or hug and pat each other’s shoulders. If they’re father and son, or close friends who haven’t seen each other for a long time, they would kiss.
In some families, people even kiss each other’s cheeks when saying good morning and good night.
I also noticed, when I was in New York, that you don’t hug the same way. Yours would rather be a “shoulders hug”. I mean that you push the top of the body (head and shoulders) forwards and you hug. We do that only when very moved, like at funerals and long time departures. For us, all the upper part of the body sticks together in the hug. I personally can only do that if the emotion is strong enough = we share a very close relationship.
When I introduced Monique to my parents, I told them about giving one kiss on each check, as is the custom of French people. That’s how they greeted Monique (and vice versa) the first time they met.
I asked Monique if she had met my parents under normal circumstances (that is, without me having discussed greeting customs beforehand) would she have kissed them twice on the cheeks (since she sort of knew them through me), or would she only have shaken their hands. Here’s what Monique said:
About meeting your parents: given that they’re your parents, I could have done either (shaken their hands or kissed them on each cheek) when meeting them, because we’d never met before.
Actually, it depends on what you feel.
According to the way I “felt” about them as people, independently of the fact that they’re your parents, my first “feeling” would have been to kiss them twice when meeting, and when leaving. But we step here into personal relationships, besides the customs.
There is some “grey” area about customs in general. They can be interpreted differently depending on the region and also the individual.
One thing is sure, be mindful when greeting an individual from another culture. That one friendly kiss we’d give to friend in New York, would signal something more romantic in Paris.
You’re welcome to comment below about greeting customs where you live.
Many thanks to Monique for her clarification of French greeting customs.
-Lisa
October 3rd, 2006 at 12:18 pm
im old school, and from hawaii…we always greet people with a hug and kiss on the cheek…same for leaving…i find that i do the same at work, unless the person has a very straight arm stuck out at me…then i will shake it…tho, i do remind them where im from and watch out…:)
October 13th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
In the Dominican Republic women greet friends with a kiss in the cheeks (regardless of sex). Man usually greet other men with a hand shake and an upper body hug. Business men usually just use a hand shake or just say Hello.
November 5th, 2006 at 12:28 am
I’m from the San Francisco area and we usually greet each other with a handshake or just say hi, but some girls greet their friends with a quick upper body hug.
When I went to New York for an Estonian funeral I had a lot of trouble dealing with how much more intimate the greetings were. Everyone (complete strangers) did a handshake and a kiss (NOT an air kiss) on each cheek. One person in the greeting line forgot to do the kiss my dad reminded them that they were supposed to kiss the girls and I had to assure them that it was more than all right. Every time I had to go to an event while I was there I had to wash my cheeks as soon as the greetings and partings were done. I’m not sure how much of that is an East Coast thing or an Estonian thing, but when I asked my mom about it she said that several people she knew from the East Coast also did it and it really annoyed her too (she’s originally from the Mid-West).
November 29th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
In my country (I come from Poland), we shake our hands when it’s business meeting. We also do that when we introduce people to each other. But that is not a rule of course. Sometimes when there is a feeling of a stronger relations we can give a kiss on one cheek. When that feeling is more obvious ( we are family or close friends) we usually do the same (one kiss). If we haven’t seen each other for a long time (because of the distance), we give three kisses. Maybe there are some difrences between different regions of Poland. I live in a small village.
March 2nd, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Here in Japan you usually bow when first meeting someone. If you are friends though you usually just say, “Hello,” and maybe wave at each other. There tends to be much less body contact here than in other places I’ve lived.
September 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
well here in India we normally greet people with a handshake or a simple hi for business and friends respectively; but traditionally we welcome guests with a bow and joined hands stating “Namaste” meaning welcome. Besides a kiss on each cheek is given to close family elders. but each variation of our indian culture has its own list of variations!!!!
October 6th, 2007 at 9:08 am
Today in China, we just shake hands in formal situations, and say hi in informal ones, but traditionally men usually make a bow with hands folded in front, and women bend the knees a little with their hands levelled at one side of their waists.
November 4th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
In Haiti, we kissed each other on the cheek, strangers and family; we are expected to. To not kiss someone on the cheek is a sign of disrespect. If there’s a group of people together and a friend of yours happen to be part of that group, you not only have to kiss her, but you have to kiss everyone in the group.
Young girls greet older men the same way. However, if a young girl and a guy are the same age, they shake hands. Kissing will be inapropriate.
Men shake hands if an stranger. Other time they shake hands and hug if they know each other very well.
December 7th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I’m from Egypt.In Arab countries :how to greet differs too.It even differs in Egypt itself .Between women the most common thing is to kiss once on every cheek.Between men :they shake hands ,but may kiss also (especially if relatives),,,me myself i don’t like seeing men kissing ..But you never can find men and women (even girls) kissing unless fathers and daughters,sisters and brothers (or vice versa)
In other regions in Egypt they may kiss 3 or 4 times.
To me;it’s fine to kiss because it is a way of being friendly .
January 14th, 2008 at 11:50 am
what bout italy?
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
A map with France colored to show how many kisses?
Why here’s one!
http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/12/02/210-french-kissing-map/
:)
February 21st, 2008 at 1:06 pm
According to Spanish etiquette, people also kiss (one on each cheek) when meeting. I’ve also had this happen after eating. (Like, when we leave resturant or something.)
In Filipino culture, you’re supposed to take the hand of someone older than you and press it to your forehead. I’ve done this to grandparents and such, but in some families you have to do it to ANYONE older than you- even siblings!
All this is according to my experience, so it may not be the same for everyone.
February 24th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Hello! How interesting! I, too, would like to add a little something . . .
Ukrainians greet each other with an embrace and three kisses. Usually, you would kiss the right cheek, then the left cheek, and then the right cheek again. This signifies the Holy Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. You’ll find that many Ukrainian customs are done in threes for this particular reason. Kissing on the cheeks is for both men and women. It is not uncommon to witness two men embrace and kiss each other three times – this is very acceptable and, for the old timers, expected.
March 18th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I am from the south and we normally say hello, hi, bye-bye-, good night, good morning. We give people hand shakes and a hug. We don’t give people kiss maybe our mothers a kiss good- night. Some people do it diffrent but down here in Ga we keep it simple!!!!!!!!!!!
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Hi. I´m Portuguese. Here we kiss twice, beginning with our right cheek (this between women!) Men often shake hands or hug if friends. Men only kiss eachother when they are father and son!
May 19th, 2008 at 4:53 am
hello..I’m Indonesian. When we meet each other we just say hello and sometimes shake hand when it’s a formal situation
June 5th, 2008 at 11:57 am
I`m from Argentina, I studied in Cordoba.There we shake hands with friends and we sometime give a kiss on one cheek.-
If we haven`t seen each other for a time, we give a hug.-
In a business meeting, we shake hands and say “hello”, how are you? or Nice to meet you.-
June 5th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I’ m from Reconquista, Argentina, and usually a man greets other men with a hug and pat. Here, women give two kisses to other women or men. Business people greet with a hand shake and say, ” how are you?”
June 5th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I’ m from Argentina, in my country in the city Capital Federal is common to greet people with one kiss. But in other regions of the country, for example in the north east is usual to greet friends and parents with two kisses.
In all the country we normally greet people with a handshake or a simple “good morning” or “good afternoon” for business.
June 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
i´m from portugal here normally women kiss twice on each cheek and men hug and give a little pat on eachother´s backs. father and sun( regardless of the sex ) always kiss to leave or arrive. I come from and English school in portugal called ST Julian’s!!
August 14th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Hi, I’m from Germany,
in Germany girls kiss friends (must not be close friends) with 1 kiss on each cheek – regardless which if the person is male or female. guys usually give a handshake or hold the right hand with the other male person and with the other arm they hug with a more or less hard pound on the back of the other person. if you meet someone new you just say hi and and while introducing you also shake hands regardless which sex it is.
pretty interesting to me how countries differ in this custom. i like it though!
greetings from germany!
August 26th, 2008 at 2:13 am
hi this is tarun luthra from india, i am a MBA STUDENT and marketing professional. we always greets people either they are customers, friends or anybuddy with a very cool smile. after that we shake their hand. this is a very formal way to greet them. but now a days as we adopted the westurn Culture thatswhy in high profile society people greet to their friends, buisness patners, customers and their relatives with a kiss on each cheek mo matter they are male or female.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:44 am
in wich country ado they rub noses with each other?
cuz i have to know its for my home work on monday.
September 6th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
If it’s your home work, I suggest that you put “greeting rubbing noses” into Google!
September 6th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
It’s my understanding that the Eskimos kiss by rubbing noses.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:07 am
hey what about to puerto rico? in puerto rico men shake hands.
woman say hi and a give hug that means hi, or men at work will shake hands and say hello (how are you).
October 5th, 2008 at 2:02 am
Here in Kentucky Men say “Hello” how yall doing “, women say “hi”, men may shake hands or hug upper body, same with women, here men do not kiss men even for fathers and sons it must be a special emotional moment seldom in public. I am researching christian church greetings does anyone have greetings that are acceptable in a General Baptist church, let me rephrase, do you have any greetings I can have fun with and make the preacher or deacons uncomfortable with?
October 21st, 2008 at 8:27 am
Hi, im from Australlia as i moved there a year ago from the Uk. In oz we just say good day mate to each other, we only kiss someone when we haven’t seen them for a while or if they are family members. What’s the point kissing people if your only popping to the mall?
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:56 am
Hi! I’m from Indonesia. People in here, when we greet each other, we just shake hands, both in formal and informal situation. Sometimes women can hug each other, if they haven’t seen each other for a long time or if they are family members. for men, it’s kinda disturbing view if a man hug another man… haha!
November 20th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I’m from Chicago Il, we normally greet people with a “hey”, “hi”, or “Hello”. If one is a teenager they might say “What’s up”.
Has Anyone else noticed how up tight America is compared to other countries? It is often akward to recieve a hug from people. Were in some countries it is expected to kiss eachother.
March 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I am andré, I am a student, I am from Brazil.
Here in Brazil shake hands is common in formal situation or business.
In informal situation people kiss on the cheek, hug, and shake hands.
Among friends its very common to given one kiss on the cheek every time they meet each other.
May 11th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Hi I am Johann from South Africa, Springbok country!!!! White men would shake hands- it should be a firm handshake and stern look in the eye. if not stern(you would think of the person as a softy with no guts or go. If you do not look the person in the eye, you would thought he is not a honest person and is hiding something. Kiss and hug as a greeting , smack bang on the lips, if you know the lady, or it could be family. Father and son’s kiss. Ladies would shake hands if bussiness or a first time introduction(also a firm hand shake).kiss, same as above and with a upper body hug.
Black men and ladies have a ritual type of handshake (a soft normal shake, then both persons hands move over the thumbs, then back to a normal grip pulling the hand backwards until just the finger tips touch, pushing the thumbs against each other flipping the finger tips of each other, (they do not look each other straight in the eye and specially not an elder person because it will show disrespect). They would also hold hands in a normal shake position until they finished chatting going through the ritual again. Hugs are loud and upperbody touching without a kiss and that more the ladies.
May 25th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Hey!
Unlike my fellow portuguese friends I’ve been raised to only kiss once! However I’ve left people hanging there, and I’ve given two kisses if I know the person is going to give me two kisses! It’s a family thing; we have many different social levels, and it just depends on how you’re raised! Men, however only shake hands, pat on the back if they know each other well, and kiss on the cheek if they’re direct family (grandfather, father, son). It sucks with women because for business you never know what to do…
:)
June 21st, 2009 at 7:45 am
Hi im from the philippines and filipinos are very known to be warm and hospitable we always wear our big smiles especially when we see a foreigner but our culture when it comes to meeting people is to always (mano po) it means to kiss or press your forehead to the hands of the elders but dont do this to people whose same age or younger than you (po and upo) you always have to use this word as a sign of respect to the elders or the people you just met. But filipinos also adopted the modern way of hugging and a kiss especially to young people to girls specifically when they see each other at the mall for example its called (biso biso) where they hug and kiss one time on each cheek.
June 29th, 2009 at 11:03 am
how do christians greet each other?
June 30th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
I don’t think Christians greet each other universally in one specific way. There are greetings that are done as part of some church services. But remember, there are many Christian denominations, so greeting can vary from denomination to denomination and probably from country to country. Can anyone else help?
August 3rd, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Hello. I’m from Oman. People usually shake hands in formal and informal encounters. However, men don’t shake hands with women unless they are family members( father and brothers) or relatives (grandfather & uncles). Women usually kiss each other on the cheeks especially if they haven’t seen each other for a long time or if they are dear friends. Men do the same with men. As a sign of respect, we shake our grandmother’s and grandfather’s forehead after shaking hands with them. When we meet people, we usually say Salaam alaikum (Peace be upon you) even if we don’t know the other person/people which is part of our religion; Islam.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:50 am
Hi, i am from singapore. in here, we usually say hi,good-bye. We only kiss if we are very very close like relatives and family members. It may sound weird but it is our custom.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Hi I’m from Brazil. Here women and men kiss each other even if you met that person for the first time. But men don’t kiss other men, they may shake hands and/or hug. We have some differences in the number of kisses on each cheek, it will depend on the region of the country you are.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Thailand
Formal business: Just say [Men: Sawaddee Krub Women: Sawaddee Kha] While doing Wai.
Friend: Just say Sawaddee or waddee
Family: Just say [Men: Sawaddee Krub Women: Sawaddee Kha] While doing Wai.
Traditionally: Slight bow, with the palms pressed together. The higher the hands are held in
relation to the face and the lower the bow.
Call: Wai
September 26th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
In my counry it’s normaly to say “hello” (zdravstvuite) and handshake if you greet man. When you meet your friend you can give him a hug. You MUSN’T shake a hand if you are in gloves. If you greet a woman you haven’t known yet you can say “hello” (privet). P.S. If you’ll see a bear whith vodka, don’t worry, they a very friendly :))))). P.P.S. Excuse me for my not so good english.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:41 am
I’m from Oklahoma and a Native American. I’m a member of the Kiowa Tribe. Our custom, whether male or female, is to greet female relatives (mother, aunt, grandmother, etc.) with a hug and/or kiss on the cheek (at least a hug) and male relatives with a handshake and/or hug, usually both, sometimes a kiss on the cheek if it is a close father/son relationship. However, a man must not hug or kiss or have much otherwise intimate interaction his mother- or daughter-in-law and vice-versa.
As for strangers, a handshake or simple “Hello, Hi, etc.” is appropriate.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Hello!!! I’m from El Salvador, here we usually shake hands when we meet people by the first time, specially in bussiness or in formal meetings, with friends we have a peculiar form to salute, we always knock hands, not that hard but just like a tap and with relatives we always embrace specially mothers who in my country apreciate a lot.
Greetings From El Salvador!!!!!!